The Rarest American - Wyoming Magazine

Adventure

The Rarest American

on

”There can be only one,” Highlander, Academy award winner for best movie ever made, according to our friend Ricky.

Oftentimes, a writer will begin an article by introducing a concept softly, stating facts and/or examples that support their position on the aforementioned concept and then finish with a strong statement or claim on that position.

Well, in classic Wyoming fashion, I’m just gonna throw the status quo by the wayside and start with my strong statement.

Wyomingites (people from, or residents of Wyoming) ARE the rarest Americans.

I’ll give you a moment to gather yourself after such a powerful claim … (moment to gather yourself) … good? Good.

Now, you might ask what I mean when I say “rare,” and to be honest I hadn’t considered that the word was a homonym and had multiple definitions prior to this point in time. I mean all of the above definitions, or in the case, all of the below. Here are the definitions for “rare,” as told to us by the universally accepted authority on all things worldly: Google. 

rare1

rer/ adjective adjective: rare; comparative adjective: rarer; superlative adjective: rarest

1.(of an event, situation, or condition) not occurring very often. “a rare genetic disorder” synonyms: infrequent, scarce, sparse, few and far between, thin on the ground, like gold dust, as scarce as hen’s teeth; More antonyms: common, frequent (of a thing) not found in large numbers and consequently of interest or value. “the jellyfish tree, one of the rarest plants on earth” synonyms: unusual, recherché, uncommon, unfamiliar, atypical, singular “rare stamps” antonyms: ordinary, common place or unusually good or remarkable.

“he plays with rare strength and sensitivity” rare2rer/ adjective: rare; comparative adjective: rarer; superlative adjective: rarest

2.(of meat, especially beef) lightly cooked, so that the inside is still red.

Alright, Randy Johnson, let’s take this first pitch and do as would the Great Bambino, the Sultan of swat, the Colossus of Clout. that͛s right, we͛re gonna call our home run and knock it out of the park just for style points. Batter up. 

Definition one: rer/

adjective (of an event, situation, or condition) not occurring very often.

It’s safe to say that as a state of the American union, we can start out at the very least tied with the other territories that have become American states. However, just as Greco-Roman Wrestler and member of the society of rarest Americans himself, Rulon Gardner stated in the 2000 summer Olympics, we’ll take gold on this one.

Proof 1:

How often are you out exploring and run into steaming geysers, hot springs and colorful beds of water heated by Mother Earth to the ripe ol’ temp of 160 degree Fahrenheit? Well, the answer is once. And it happened, right here in Wyoming. John Colter, good find, ol’ chap. One of the earliest explorers of Wyoming was John Colter in 1807. While exploring the Rocky Mountains, he discovered a region of steaming geysers and towering water falls so unusual that his written reports nicknamed the area “Colter’s Hell.” The same area, in 1872, was set aside forever as a place to be enjoyed by everyone. It became known as Yellowstone, the world’s first National Park.  (www.Wyo.gov)

Proof 2:

Our first proof heated up our second proof. Not that our second proof needs any extra heat, but that’s beside the point. You can count on one finger how many states are home to not only the first ever national park (did we mention that Yellowstone is the first National Park? It is. #boomstillgotit) Wyoming is also home to our country’s first national monument, Devil’s Tower. Did you count how many states can say that about their land? Do it now … that one finger you’re holding up? That’s for us, for Wyoming. Hold it proudly, number one, baby. #RarestAmerican

The first definition was ͞not occurring very often͟, and it is safe to say those are some big occurrences, and they’ve happened only once in the history of history. In Wyoming. Boom.

Definition 2: (of a thing) not found in large numbers and consequently of interest or value. “the jellyfish tree, one of the rarest plants on earth”

Proof 1:

There is no argument against Wyomingites as the rarest American just by the very nature of this definition.. We do study the subject at our state’s university— that’s right, Wyoming  has one university, so toss that in the bucket as another state rarity and another “W” for UW—but math isn’t necessarily our strong suit . Luckily, you don’t have to be Isaac Friggin’ Newton to understand the rarest American by the numbers. Ladies and gents, I present to you …

The numbers: Wyoming 51582,658 North Dakota 48723,393 District of Columbia 49646,449 Vermont 50626,630

Here’s what you’re seeing: Wyoming is sitting pretty in 51st place for population by state at 582,658 of rare ‘mericans, give ‘er take. Followed by Vermont, then DC, and then our good friends up der in ol’ Nor’ Dak-oh-tah, don’cha know. We checked these figures with our friends, the gub’ment (census.gov) as well as, perhaps more trustworthy source, Wikipedia, and the story checks out. The only flaw we found in the numbers was that Wyoming was listed as  51st. That figure should be changed to numero uno, amigos. We are number one. Wyoming accounts for approximately one-fifth of one percentage point of our nation’s population, making us officially … the rarest Americans. #Boom

Definition 3: unusually good or remarkable. “he plays with rare strength and sensitivity”

Proof: Uhhhhh … if you need proof of this one, let us just invite you to visit the greatest state in the union, and experience the rare American individual that inhabit our lands. Please, come see us. We play hard ball with visitors, until you actually visit, and then you’ll leave with an unusually good and D remarkable experience. Let us know when you’re coming, and we’ll point you in the right direction. But heck, here are a few things you can look forward to enjoying and remarking about on you visit. (Tag us on IG, @WyomingMagazine)

Proof 1: Zero traffic. I can leave the house 3 minutes after I was supposed to be at work and STILL get there on time,”Lauren Perry, Thought Catalog.

Proof 2: Wide open spaces. Montana is a sneaky bastard because they must have paid someone to get the name “big sky state”. That belongs to Wyoming. You’ve never seen a horizon so big. (Also Lauren from Thought Catalog. We like her. She gets it)

Proof 3: Wyomingites are America’s most likely recipients of a rescue mission manned by Han Solo himself. Harrison Ford has used his helicopter (aka Millennium Falcon, duh) in multiple search and rescue missions, in one case picking up a stranded climber in the Teton Range and returning her to safety. (How rad of a story is that to tell at Thanksgiving dinner?)  #RarestAmerican

Proof 4: Usually, people who move here trying to change things get booted by the locals. Which is amazing and maintains our Western traditions. (Lauren yet again, and did we mention we like her?)

Definition 4: (of meat, especially beef) lightly cooked, so that the inside is still red.

Well here’s the meat of this one. If Wyomingites are the rarest Americans,  Democratic Wyomingites are the rarest of the rare Americans. We try not to get too political, but for the sake of proving ourselves rare, and red being part of that definition, we’re gonna play the cards we’ve got on this one.

Wherever you stand on the politico-sphere, it’s easy to see that Wyoming is certainly “red on the inside.” Shout out to our homies in Teton County … hashtag diversity. We also have our own beef council, and you visit a steakhouse in our fine state, and use the word “well” in reference to anything other than ordering drink, they’ll probably think you’re speaking French. Please, no jazz on the jukebox, Jean Girard.

So let’s recap.

First national monument, first national park, first state to give women the right to vote, first state to provide a first place in wrestling at the Olympics (shoutout Afton, Wyoming—ya done us proud!) and first place as the  least populated state in the union.

Did we mention we have two escalators? We do, and we had to throw it somewhere. That fact might as well grace our summation. Speaking of summation, here’s ours: Our state is rare, our state of mind is rare, and our state of being is one that boasts the title without credible opposition. Our people are the rarest. We are Wyomingites, and if you are too, then share this article with a friend and claim it proudly.  You are…

The Rarest American.

Article Written by Brady McLean

About Wyoming Magazine

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *