Tasks can be successfully completed in a myriad of ways. For example, one can ride in the bed of a pickup truck sitting, standing, planking, performing jumping jacks, pretending to be a loose potato rolling hither and thither, and still arrive at their destination, albeit a little bruised. There are also tasks that can only yield the ideal result by following a specific plan. This is one of those plans. The task at hand: preparing to cook the perfect steak.
Now, don’t misunderstand. There are plenty of ways to grill up tasty meat. You can butter it; you can choose not to butter it. You can rub it with some meat rub or you can go sans the rub. It’s all up to you. The real question you have to ask yourself is: Do you want to do things your way, or do you want to do things the right way?
If you’re reading this, then you’re reading Wyoming Magazine. Step one: complete. Well done. If you’re not reading this, then we’re not exactly sure how you’re reading this article. But, let’s get back to the matter at hand, Wyoming Magazine. Keyword: Wyoming. The magazine part is just explanatory. You’re in Wyoming for Pete’s sake! Cooking a steak is about more than the meat, dammit! It’s about the connection to the earth, taking into consideration the animal you’re about to feast upon, the people you’ll share a table with, and – well, it’s about the meat, too!
Take a minute to close your eyes – wait keep them open, but let your mind daydream for a moment. Picture the perfect steak cooking scenario. You’re over a flaming red-hot grill outside on a cool Wyoming evening, ready to cook a few high-quality steaks freshly thawed from your freezer of choice meats and seasoned to perfection and, best of all, you’re best friends have gathered enjoying a lively chat over bevies while patiently awaiting the arrival of their perfectly cooked steaks. Now imagine a hot blast of flame lunges upward to the heavens. When the blaze subsides, you can behold the Wind Rivers’ skyline through the smoke, the stars start to twinkle to life and dance across the night’s sky. You, wearing nothing but a ragged sheepskin smock, lay the steak down on the grill bed above glowing embers. Are you salivating yet? Can you see it now? This meal is about so much more than taste here.
Now back to reality. Not all can master the journey so well without proper study, so let’s lay the foundations on the perfect approach to cooking the perfect steak. To start this process right, you’ll need to be in the right frame of mind. We’ve tried a number of methods and discovered a few that are especially effective in getting you into this mindset.
– Method One –
Get up and go outside. You’re in Wyoming. And if you’re not, you’re obviously thinking of us fondly, as you’re reading Wyoming Magazine. Stretch those legs of yours, walk around the block and get lost in thought as you look upon our majestic mountains. Or, simply walk around outside ‘til you get a little chilly, and then keep goin’ for a while. But take in all that surrounds you here in the great Equality State – the crisp, fresh air, the wildlife, your uncle Bob rocking back and forth on the porch deck tenderly caressing his shotgun affectionately named Sherry. Once you’ve filled your cup with Wyoming’s natural beauty, begin to think about how hungry you are. Now, imagine sitting at the edge of Coney Lake in the Bighorns or along the Platte, enjoying a perfectly cooked steak. Perfection.
– Method Two –
If the first method doesn’t work for you because you live in the middle of Casper, you don’t even live in Wyoming, or you don’t have legs that work too good, don’t sweat it. Just flip through the rest of this sweet, sweet publication you’re reading. Read about the people, places, and things that make this state the best there is. If that doesn’t put you in the mood for adventure and a perfectly cooked steak, I’m honestly not sure there’s any hope left for you – but maybe Method Three can help you out.
– Method Three –
This one is for the brave souls out there. To the wanderers, adventurers, and those of you who are really bored – go out, hop in your ride, start ‘er up and drive. Drive until you run out of gas in the absolute middle of frickin’ nowhere. Or you could stop somewhere where you could sit for hours and stare into the endless vast beauty of our Wyoming skies. Not as much of an adventure, but hey, you’re simply not much a thrill seeker. That’s okay. Another idea: Are you near some water? If so, strip down and jump in. Catch a fish with your bare teeth for an added sense of primal adrenaline. Just please don’t get Giardia, which is better known as “Beaver Fever,” which is similar to, but not the same as “Bieber Fever.” It’s not fun. Well, Bieber Fever can be a good time, if you’re in the mood. Giardia – not so much, even if you are in the mood. Weirdo.
Now that you’re ready to do this right, let’s get started. You’ll need a few things in order to prepare your meat, the first of which being a reliable heat source that uses bone fide fire to cook. This is critical, if you don’t have one, you’re going to end up eating an unavoidably raw steak. While tartare can be quite scrumptious, eating a giant slab of uncooked meat doesn’t sound like the best idea, for taste reasons as well as for your good health. Some will say, “You can use your stove!” To that we say you have no idea what you’re saying – shh. This is about a connection to the earth and her fruits, people! Find some fire! But, don’t cook anything that’s not supposed to be cooked. Just because we’re getting back to our roots doesn’t mean we have to forget fire safety.
Okay, so you’ve got some fire. Now you need some prime grade meat for optimal tenderness, juiciness, and flavor. If you can avoid it, don’t go to any chain store to buy something wrapped in plastic. Start going door to door until you find someone with multiple freezers full of different cuts wrapped in white butcher paper. According to un-validated statistics, you shouldn’t have to knock on more than four doors in either direction before you find someone who has a couple freezers full of delicious red meat. Once you find that person, invite them to accompany you on your quest. Be real, you know everyone who lives within a 5-mile radius, their siblings, and whose uncle their mom went to prom with, don’t make it awkward.
Of course, there is the slight possibility that you live too far away from anyone to find someone to go with you. If that’s the case, rip off your shirt, fluff up your chest hair, and fashion yourself a spear. Go wrangle up a bovine and procure your supper the old fashioned way. Best of luck meat sojourner, best of luck.
At this point, all you really need to do is get you a fine lookin’ steed and mount up. Swing your leg over that saddle and ride, steak in one hand, reins in the other. Ride until the sun kisses the jagged horizon, jump off, stretch your legs, start up a fire, cook your steak, and enjoy.
